A few weeks ago, I was sitting with my grandpa at his house and he brought out a few albums of pictures from when he was a young child. I was so thankful to be sitting in the presence of someone who has seen so much in his years and be able to look back at pictures of times when he had no worries. I truly wanted to live those moments in my life in slow motion, listening to him tell me about the people in the pictures, the stories behind some of the toys that were in the pictures and just genuinely learn about my my grandpa's childhood. Uninterrupted.
My grandpa had a rough childhood, in my opinion. He was raised by his grandparents with his brothers. Although I know he is thankful for his grandparents raising him, and was very close to his grandma ... I know that deep down he struggled with his mom's choices and lack of involvement in his life. And I think we all would.
When he tells stories of his childhood, he rarely talks about his mom and dad. And from what I understand, his dad was more 'gone' than his mom in terms of physically raising him. So many of the pictures that I have from his younger days as well as the heirlooms have been from
his grandma. My
great-great grandma.
As he pulled out the paper-paged albums, I found myself staring back into 1929.
1929.
Pictures of my grandpa and his brothers playing on a wagon, sitting with family, making funny faces. Just general life. We came across a picture of his mother and father standing together and I realized then, just how precious photographs are.
Because when you're gone...
that's all that is left.
The people that have memories of you in real life, will eventually pass on and all that will be left behind are pictures of your life and your family today.
There were pictures of him as a baby. Pictures from his teen years, pictures of him in Japan with the army. And for my grandchildren, that's all they will ever know of their
great-great grandpa.
The fact that his family had so many pictures from a time in the world when cameras weren't everyday objects like they are today... suffice it to say, it seems I came by my love of photography genetically.
Anyway, the last few years since I bought my SLR camera have been good to me, with regards to photography. I've had the opportunity of seeing seniors leave high school, sweethearts get married... and then have a baby. I've seen families [often times reluctantly] getting dressed up to come out to the park and have 'family pictures'. I've met tons of new people and strengthened bonds with good friends.
And I realize that with the economy in the current state that it is in...
people just can't afford luxury items.
And when it comes time to 'cut' expenses... the first thing(s) that seem to get put on the back burner is the yearly Family Photo (which i think makes some husbands really happy). People are stressed to the max, cutting costs anywhere and everywhere and just not getting genuinely 'real' photos of themselves. All together. As a family.
I've mentioned in the past weeks, how most of my co-workers / friends are losing their jobs in about 3 weeks. I'm living in a world right now, where there are more people I know that are unemployed (and not by choice) than those employed.
And it breaks my heart.
***
I get paid on the 15th and the 30th of every month. And I sit down and do my bills twice a month, after I get paid. This past week, was the first paycheck I've received since we received a paycut at HP. And can I tell you how humbled I was?
I feel so incredibly blessed at times to be able to write out my bills and not worry about how they are going to get paid. Because I've been there. And I hated it. And when I look back at the path behind me, my children 5 and 8 years old, I realize how far away that road has become. Now we don't live extravagantly, at all. But we have everything we need, and the opportunity to do for others. And that makes me happy.
Where am I going with this?
It has been laid on my heart big time over the past few weeks to trust my God that provides for me and my children each week.
And I'm thinking... trust? I already do! I don't always understand, but I try very hard to trust.
But I still don't know exactly what is being laid on my heart.
And I've heard over and over in my mind and in my heart:
"Dear Child, I've given you a talent. And a means by which to
do something with your talent."
And I'm thinking ...
"Ok God, I do - I spend time with families taking pictures... all spring/summer and fall. What more do you want from me?"
And like a broken record, the response has been.
"Would you rather touch lives or make money?"
Well that's simple... I want to touch lives.
So I've made a humble decision (and I'll be honest... my Faith is shaky on this one..) however - what do I have to lose? My bills are paid. We live within our means, my children are healthy (a bit out of control at times, but can money buy good behavior? If so, pleaaase let me know how!)
So I've decided that my side photography gig...
.... will be by donation only.
Yes, by donation only.
I will set some barelyl-above-margin prices on hard copy prints and photobooks and images on CD but my time and efforts... will be by donation only.
Because I'd rather touch more lives, spend more time with people, capture more smiles and memories...
...than to meet people who have had to save a bunch of money to spend a couple of hours with me.
I've mulled this one over in my head a lot.
And I know that this is what I need to do this spring/summer/fall.
Sooooooooooo....
if you know someone who has been deserving of family pictures for a while... let them know you'll pick up the 'tab'. :)
I'm very excited to see what lies ahead with regards to this 'special mission' I've been given. My goal is to be able to meet more families, photograph more smiles and give people more memories than in the past years.
. We compared our schedules and decided that I would meet at April's house on Saturday evening!
